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When I was in your situation a little over a year ago, I looked on for shared housing to find a room to rent. I had to move several time in 7 months and it was really stressful because temp work was spotty. I looked for situations that I could either have reduced rent for providing housework, cooking or other essential services and there were a few of those available, but I managed somehow, with temp work and sometimes loans from friends to always be able to pay my rent, if not much more. You want to offer essential services by posting at pharmacies for a short term (3-6 month) live in to help someone that needs someone after a surgery. They usually have boards to post these things. You could also post on CL. Not necessarily someone permanently disabled, but someone that doesn't have someone to do what they cannot do temporarily while they recover from say a knee surgery. My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. I am less than a year in my own place after having to give up my apartment with a steady income for the first time in over 2 of un and underemployment. I am doing better, but I am no where near being financially recovered and still more than a little shell shocked that it could happen again. It is the most humbling thing I have been through. don't be embarassed. Try to build up yourself as much as possible. Things get better. I promise.

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It seems to me that the OP is stuck in a rut of go to work, eat, sleep, go to work The paychecks roll in, the bills get paid, the gets new shoes. Like a car or any other piece of machinery, you need to do preventive maintenance on your marriage. You change the oil in your car regularly to keep it running right for a time. If you don't change your oil for a few years and your engine siezes up, you can't just fix the problem now by changing oil. It's going to take a lot more work to get it back in working order. Right now, the engine is making noise. Right now is when you listen to the car and start working on it before the engine blows up. An engineer should be able to understand things in these terms. Your wife wants that preventive maintenance. She wants her oil changed regularly. And while you're at it, it'd be nice if you'd go above and beyond and detail her and maybe get her some new wiper blades or something. OP, your wife is TELLING YOU right NOW that she wants you to her. She doesn't just want put it in her once every couple of weeks. She wants you to her, listen to her, care how her day is, hold her, hug her, kiss her passionately. She wants to feel like you're in with her. You don't know how to express emotions because you're an engineer? Fuck it. Just tell her what you feel. Tell her, "I you more than anything in this world. I know I've been an insensitive jerk and I've been neglectiong you but I DO you and I am willing to do whatever it takes to save our marriage. I being a family with you and our daughter and I'm sorry that I blew it up to this point but starting now, I am going to do everything in my power to show you how much I you and want you." Then DO THAT. Act like you her. Show her you her. Call her during the day and tell her she's beautiful. Come home at night and kiss her like you haven't seen her in a month.

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